Last week one of my Young Walkers committed suicide. It is always hard to hear news like this when you see them so happy on the trail and have such high hopes for them when they return home. I am sad for her family and hope they are hanging in there. I am proud to be a part of a program that cares so much for the families, that some of our past TWs went to the funeral and our founder called the family to send them our love and concern.

Deep thinker almost forgotten

In sorting more of my stuff in the garage yesterday, I discovered some of my writing from when I was in middle school. As I read it, I was surprised by how much of a deep thinker I was and where that writing ability went too. I thought I would put some of them up here.

The Waiting
For nature, it is a time of waiting.
Waiting to see what man will do
with his freedom of choice.
Waiting to see if he will choose wisely.

Mother to Mother
From universe, to star, to planet, to Earth's children
love-manifest radiates its infinite light
mother to mother.

Ancient Wisdom
With a whisper,
Our ancestors left their mark upon the land.
That same land today
Now shudders in the wake of humanity's deafening roar.

The Source
Humankind's deepest misunderstanding is separating God from his creation. When God is seen in all things, as the Native Americans saw God, there exists harmony, balance and a love and respect for all life. When we abuse the Earth, we spit in God's face.

The Mist
The mist is between the sky and the forest.
The soft mist is drifting.
     I am sad the mist is drifting.
     I wonder if the forest and sky are sad.
I wonder if,
I wonder why,
     I wonder if the moment is drifting
     Because I am sad.

Golden Sunrise
Rays of light broke through the morning mist
As the golden sun rose from behind the dark mountains
To shine on the green valley.
There it was in that flourescent dawn
That all other colors faded in comparison to the sunrise.
In that instant the fog lifted from my mind
And I had true wisdom.
I realized where I had come from.
I now knew my true self
As the civilized shadow shed from me.
I then understood the heart of hateful men
And I could never return to that dark grey world.

I am loving owning a house. In the past year I have learned how to do so many odd things and its been fun mixed with a bit of hard work. Besides the usual room painting, I have repaired all the control valves and heads in the sprinkler system and converted the front yard portion into a drip system. I have repaired the gel coat breaks in my shower, replaced the silicon seal around my shower door and put in a new bathroom fan. I tore out a hideous fountain nicknamed Jabba the Hut and planted an orange tree in its place. That was the most work requiring a sledge hammer and a jackhammer (I loved using that). I had a mesquite tree planted in the front yard and tore out three dead palms. This fall I am going to put in a lawn in the backyard.

I'm sure in 20 years I won't be saying these things are fun but for now its great.

Reminder

Being in the wilderness every other week has some drawbacks. Not just the obvious ones that everyone usually thinks of. I have spent over 2 1/2 years of my life in the deserts of Arizona and with that comes a certain amount of familiarity. Some of the awe I used to get about being in the wilderness has faded with all that time. One thing I love about seeing the new YWs who come out to the trail is there first glimpse of the night sky. Arizona is one of the best places in the country to see the stars because of the dry, still air. Many of the YWs come from cities and have not had the opportunity to really see the beauty above them. Seeing their reaction to that first night reminds me of the beauty thats out there.

Seeing the Milky Way stretching from horizon to horizon puts many things into perspective. It gets me to ponder everything from my place in this world to how grand the universe trully is. It stretches my mind and imagination as I try to comprehend these great ideas. How grateful I am to those YWs for the reminder and for the opportunity I get to see that night sky so frequently.

Another finished project

Two years ago I was wandering around the barter circle at Wintercount when I came across someone selling door mats made out of climbing ropes. I fell in love with them but at the time I didn't have enough money to buy one. Yesterday I finished one of my own. An employee at a local climbing gym was kind enough to give me the ropes for free. I found directions online (thank goodness for the internet). Even with that it was still a very confusing project. Its not like normal weaving because you create the under-over knot as you go. I had to rip the first braid out three times because I kept finding mistakes. At one point I was so frustrated I almost threw the whole thing out a window (I'm glad I exercised a little self-control). Once the first braid was correct, the second and third were easy because you just follow the first exactly. It ended up being 18 in x 30in.
It is surprisingly soft on my feet and even when its directly in the sun, the rope doesn't get hot. If I can get my hands on more ropes, I think I will make a few more of these for my other doors. Oh no, I've found another hobby.

I love water

I love the water. I think it has to do with growing up in a desert. There is so much lack of it that when you see it, you really appreciate it. Growing up near Lake Tahoe also didn't hurt; although, I think it made me a bit of a water snob when it comes to drinking and swimming.Thankfully there are some amazing water holes in Arizona. 



 This is the stunning Fossil Creek in Arizona. I got to drive past it last week while on the Trail. I saw it for the first time last summer and fell in love with it. I still cannot get over the color of the water. I've been told its because its a travertine spring, whatever that means.

   


 Thought I should get a pic of myself enjoying the beautiful day along the creek.


 



While taking the previous shot, I got the idea to get a pic of myslef jumping into said creek. I had to set the timer then run around to the jump spot. It took me five tries to get this shot. Oh darn that I had to jump so many times into such a beautiful creek.


This pic was taken last saturday in my friend's pool. We were trying out her new underwater camera.



 

trying to do something special

This october I will be turning 30. I want to do something special for it. A TW gave me the idea of doing thirty things before I turn 30. I am having trouble thinking up ideas. Anyone have any suggestions?

Winter

I love the snow! Recently I got to experience it here in Arizona. It was amazing how the day before had been close to 80 and then the next we had 8 inches of snow. I was watching as it turned from rain to snow and how it became quiet once it did. The whole world became peaceful. It calmed my soul and invited me to be silent and insightful. I really miss snow; I didn't realize it until I was in the storm for those two days. I miss watching it fall and blanket the world in white. I have been to that Final D many times, always in the summer, and to see it covered in a fluffy blanket was other-worldly. I felt like I was in some mythical place.

The snowman Nikki and Jared, both TWs, built to represent me. They even tried to give it hair using juniper. Nikki is from Hawaii; we had to teach her how to make the snowman. She absolutely loved the snow.

Overlooking the East Verde River where we were camping.

Spring

What is it about spring that is so wonderful? Autumn has the sense of quietly slowing down and winter the sense of waiting, but spring is the feeling of waking up. The changing of seasons is always subtle. Yesterday as I was hiking back from the boys band, I could hear the birds singing and the first sounds of the wind through the young leaves. There was also the smell of new green life which is invigorating to the senses. Spring is a great season for uplifting the soul.

Today while I was in Squaw Creek, I saw a little seep I had never noticed before. It came down from a hidden valley dripping through moss and maiden hair ferns to land in a pool surrounded by columbines.

More Pictures from Wintercount

This is the pictograph I painted using stone pigments and yucca brushes on sandstone. Its a picture of my Anasazi Honor Name: Earth Sky Circle Dancer

I found a hidden talent: painting people's faces for the mask dance night.

myself, Jaime, Stephanie and Joe all painted up and ready to dance to the rythm of the drums around the bonfire

I look like I have a weird disease with all those red spots. It took me close to an hour to get this off my face.

Wintercount 2012

Many of you know that I love primitive living and survival skills. There are gatherings that happen all over the country where people get together and teach each other. Wintercount is one that takes place about an hour south of Phoenix every February. This was my sixth year of participating. I only went for a couple days because of work but I was able to learn how to make great basin atlatls, got a refresher course on making navajo rope and made a pictograph using pigment paints ground on a metate.

This is the great basin atlatl I made.

Every year at this gathering, there is a distance atlatl competition and for the last two years I have won. (an atlatl is a primitive hunting tool that predates the bow and arrow and was used in both the southwest and western tribes). I was a little nervous about this year because I had built it up so big in my head (how cool would it be to win three years in a row). I used my new atlatl I had made earlier in the week; sadly I forgot my camera and wasn't able to get any pictures of me actually throwing the darts. I broke my personal record from last year by fifty feet for a new personal best of 297.7 feet. I also won the competition. My only real competitor said she has never gotten close to 250 let alone 300 ft. I was so proud of myself. My prize was a beautiful black-on-white primitive made pottery bowl.

The painting design is fashioned after the Mimbres culture which neighbored the Anasazi in New Mexico. The picture shows three men hunting with their atlatls.

I'm going to experiment with longer atlatls and different types of darts so that if I get to compete next year, hopefully I will reach 325 ft.

Holidays on the Trail

I had the luck to work two holidays this season on the Trail: Halloween and Christmas. Normally people would be upset to have to work a holiday, but on the Trail it is a whole other story. I can't put it into words but it is special and certainly unique. On Halloween, Sam and I dressed up for the occasion (naturally). We then got to deliver to the bands a pumpkin, apple cider packets and cinnamon to each person in the bands (groups). Anything different in the way of food out there is a huge treat. (I'm a mountain woman and Sam is a ninja turtle)

Christmas was wonderful! On Christmas Eve, I told the Trailwalkers (TWs) to turn on their radios at a certain time. I then held my radio up to the car speaker and played 20 minutes of Holiday music over the radio. I tried to stick with classics like Bing, Nat "King" Cole, Judy Garland and the MoTab plus a couple more modern tunes. Everyone seemed to enjoy listening as they sat around their campfires, and I cried because of how happy it made me to be able to do that for them. The next day, I got to play Santa and bring in the Christmas goodies.

Anasazi tells everyone that they can send something out to the Trail as long as they send enough for everyone that will be out there for the holiday. They then sort out the goodies into individual pillowcases labeled by name. They are usually simple things like food, spices, some candy, lipsmackers and a beanie. (it was heavy to carry in even with the backpack I had sent out to help). Some of the parents also included a Christams letter to their YW. Every Youngwalker (YW) and TW got a tinfoil dinner which tasted so freakin good! The way the YWs reacted to their "presents" you would have thought they had won the lottery. I couldn't stop smiling.

TW Matt happy to have his two "cutties"

TW Cajun Dan showing off his new beanie

TWs Brian and Mustache Dan enjoying a chocolate orange

The girls band had found aluminum cans and they cut them up to make a chain which they then draped over a juniper tree for their Christmas tree. They also re-wrote some Christmas songs with lyrics that fit Anasazi and then sang them to me before I gave them their gifts. I was laughing so hard I almost fell off the log I was sitting on.

Because of how accesible the bands were, I was able to spend time with everyone on Christmas day. I loved every minute of it. Christmas on the Trail somehow has a way of reminding us how special the simple things in life are.

TWs, Lara and Stephanie, waiting to open their pillowcases

TW Scott lounging after eating his tin foil dinner

On Christmas morning, I read Luke 2 which I did the last Christmas I worked out there 6 years ago. Somehow reading it out in the peace of nature while helping others (and myself) change their lives, makes the story so much more poignant

Happy Holidays everybody!

An Update on the State Fair

I have set a high standard for myself. I don't know if I can live up to this in the future.
I have always wanted to win ribbons in the state fair like my mom and now I have followed in her footsteps especially with the weaving and quilting ribbons. I am so happy!

Finished!

I have been working on a talking stick and after three and half years, it is finished! Its about 18 inches long and the center beadwork is the hand hold.

We use talking sticks on the Trail during our fire circles. A fire circle is when someone brings up a topic to discuss around the fire in the evenings. (The topics can be on anything but many times they are to help people ponder about their life or their relationships with others.) Whoever holds the talkings stick can speak; they can speak for as long as they wish. When they are done, they say their Trail name or Honor Name and that they "have spoken" to let others know they are finished before passing on the stick. This one is a bit extravagent for the Trail. Usually they are simple and smaller so they can be carried in our packs but I used it as an excuse to learn gourd stitch beadwork.

One reason it has taken so long is the learning curve on this particular style of beadwork. I had to restart it six times before I figured out the proper way to do it. The spiraling of the beads can get confusing. It also takes longer than other methods because you have to put each bead on individually and then thread it to the row of beads above it. It creates a sort of net around the object when it is finished.

Trail Birthday

For the second year in a row, I celebrated my birthday on the Trail. This year was better than last year because I had better food to eat. I spent it with T-Bird, the windwalk for the week, scouting out Final D spots along Cherry Creek. As always it was gorgeous especially because the fall colors were coming in. There were a few birthday greetings from the bands as they checked in. My favorite was when Quin from the Sinagua band began singing "happy birthday" and I could hear the rest of the band join in from the background. I was laughing and smiling so hard my cheeks hurt.

Because my birthday was on a Sunday, T-Bird and I went to Young the next day. We had to go anyway to get gas for the Ridge vehicle, so while we were there, we stopped at the little convenience store. Somehow T-Bird found a tea candle and some of those terrific animal cookies. There was a clump of them which she put the candle on and called it my "birthday cake. You can see it below. It was the most unique cake I have ever eaten and wonderfully tasty, maybe because I had been on the Trail for six days at this point.

The next day Catherine managed to bring out chocolate milk for me. Not the nestle stuff but made from Shamrock farms whole milk. Its the closest I've found to BYU Creamery chocolate milk. She froze it so it was slushy by the time it got out to me which made it taste like a milkshake. I was in heaven. I have the best friends!

a quick story from the Trail

"AHH!"-Sam says as she becomes frustrated with a project she's working on.

Jeremy turns to their Young Walker and says, "Do you hear that?"

The YW says "no."

Jeremy replies, "that is the sound of joy in embryo."

State Fair

After two years of intentions, I finally entered some items into the Arizona State Fair. Below are the items I entered. I never intended to enter my quilt, because the ones I saw last year were so spectacular, then I saw a category called my first quilt. I figured that is a good category for me; although, it means I don't have it on my bed for the next two months.

This belt I just finished on my inkle loom and they actually had a category for that.

My knife sheath went into the beadwork category.

The blue basket went under "natural matierials" while the red basket went under "my first basket."

Finally some photos of my house

I am going to show some before and after shots. The first two photos were taken looking into my tv room from the front door. Here is a closeup of the paintings Grandma June did of mom and dad. Thats me in the painting of dad when I was 11 or 12.

The hall bathroom.

The second bedroom without any artwork up yet. I'm still figuring out how much work I want to put into it since I haven't decided whether to get a roommate or not.

Below is the kitchen before and after.

My dream to have a project room where I can have all my tools and a work table always at the ready has been realized. You can see I hung mom's tapestry, stained glass quilt and the girls dress for which she won first place ribbons at the Utah state fair and Nevada state fair. In the lower right hand corner of the second picture is one of mom's hardangers resting on a wooden towel rack that dad made which I haven't hung up yet. The red and blue wall hanging is an amish piece. Maybe they will give me inspiration.

photos from the Trail

The trailwalkers on my rotation at the start of the week.a double rainbow I saw after a monsoon storm.the sunrise one morning.

To finish the week off, I finally got some decent lightening photos.

when will the crazy end?

Wednesday: monstrous monsoon storm which made the roads to muddy to get the van down the road. We tried to get it up just a little hill and got stuck. Good thing we had a few Trailwalkers to push the van out of the mud. We had to shuttle the TWs in for switchouts using the suburban with its off-road tires and 4-wheel drive. It still took a couple hours to get everyone where they needed to be.

Thursday: two trips to the hospital. The first was to get a youngwalkers hand set that had punched a tree and broken his hand. The second was for a knife cut on a thumb which required stitches. The second trip took much longer than necessary for a few reasons and we did not get the youngwalker back into the band until 2:30am, then I had to hike back out to my vehicle which meant I did not get to bed until after 3am.

Friday: James and I spent the afternoon scouting a drop-off spot for rabbitstick. As we were waiting for them to arrive, we got a call saying they had broken down about 15 miles east of Payson. Yet another trip for me back to town. Thankfully there were only two YWs and we were able to get seven people plus all of the rabbitstick gear on top of my gear to fit in the suburban.

Saturday: I thought I would take this morning to drop off a much needed satelite phone battery to the walkabout band that wasn't hiking. On my mile and a half journey into them, I got a call saying a YW had walked away from his band and wasn't talking to anyone. I was already feeling incredibly stressed because I had bands strewn out over miles and then this call put me over the top. I walked into the walkabout band, found Sam and lost it. I just broke down and cried. I could barely tell her what was going on because of how hard I was crying. For the first time since becoming Ridge, I hated my job. I could feel myself becoming cynical because all I got to deal with was all the problems but I never get to see the good aspects anymore. Sam listened and gave me a hug. I ended up spending about two hours with her and Jeremy just laughing and talking. They even taught me how to make a split twig figure (I've made them before out of wire but never been successful out of plants until now). I did pamper myself that evening and went out to dinner at a local restaurant in Young called the antler cafe.

Sunday: pulled James from one band and we split one of the boys bands becaus they had a sitter that was preventing the other boys from hiking to final D. I did get to have a great conversation with James, Brittany and Matt O. over the radio. They happened to be all trying to check-in at the same time so we just chatted with each other while we watched the sunset. I was lucky enough to get a picture of it.

Monday: the car battery died after morning check-ins so I hiked two miles to a ranch to see if they had jumper cables. Of course no one was home, so I sat on the road until a nice retired couple showed up and gave me a ride into Young. I went to the ranger station and someone there was nice enough to give me a ride back out. He had a jumper box with him which we discovered was not charged. So off he went back to town and found some cables. It took a total of four hours to get the car finally going again from the time I began hiking. Then I picked up the other boys band, that was so behind in hiking they were never going to make it up, and drove them to Final D.

Tuesday: made another trip to the hospital with the same YW who had broken his hand because he had to get a pin put in it to hold the bone in place. That night the suburband battery died again and a Shadow was unable to leave the Trail.

Wednesday: got up early and drove to Payson to buy a jumper box for the red sub. Got the vehicle jumped and the Shadow was on her way. When I went into the bands, to give them fresh radio batteries, one YW said I looked like I hadn't slept in over a week. I certainly felt like it. I did not have any mental energy left.

This photo is of Haigler Creek which was our Final D. Its up in the ponderosa pines and manzanitas. There are blue jays and when the wind blows through the pines, I feel like I am back in Tahoe.

I think this week is tied with the week where transfers got screwed up as the craziest week I have had as Ridge. I made six trips to Payson during the week (usually I only go through Payson as we are heading to or from the Trail)